Yes, Jazzycat Farms is now green, carbon neutral, and on board with saving the planet from global warming. In order to “make a difference” we at Jazzycat Farms will began in early 2008 a series of Jazzycat Green Seminars to educate concerned citizens that are motivated to changing their lifestyles to an environmentally approved way of living. Jazzycat Farms is already actively selling carbon credits (indulgences) to elite environmentally aware liberals, and providing therapy and classes at the The Jazzycat Institute for Guilt Free Mental Health.
We are expanding to actually teach less affluent activists and citizens, who cannot afford to buy the carbon credits, how they can significantly reduce their carbon foot print. During the three day seminar you will be able to camp in your own tent. No fuel or electricity will be used for lights, heating, cooling, cooking, or any other use. Solar energy, along with hand cranked generators will be used to heat and cook your vegetarian meals. After this four day seminar, you will leave with pride in knowing that you have indeed become more educated in the GREEN techniques that are required for this WAR ON GLOBAL WARMING. The cost for this seminar is $500, which includes your vegetarian meals and space for your tent. A 10% discount will be given to everyone who arrives in hybrid vehicles and a 20% discount will be given to all who arrive on a bicycle or walking.
1) Orientation and watch the Al Gore movie: The electricity for the movie will be generated by a hand cranked generator. All participants will be asked to take turns turning the hand crank.
2) Tent raising: All guests will work together as a community to put up their tents.
3) Bath Rooms and baths: Composting toilets will be used. With plenty of oak leaves on property, no paper will be allowed and water will be brought in pails from the Jazzycat Farms pond.
4) When darkness comes the activities will cease since no electricity or lights will be allowed.
1) Meditation and yoga exercise.
2) Seminar 1: How to conserve, reuse, and recycle paper products. Patching paper bags, reusing signs used for activists demonstrations. For example: When you and your organization demonstrate against, George Bush, the death penalty, and for abortion rights, do not throw your cardboard sign away. Use eco-friendly reusable stick on letters and reuse your sign. Think of the CO2 that will be saved from entering the atmosphere if only liberal activists would adopt this one simple technique.
3) Lunch: Organic foods only. Eco-friendly organic foods are foods that have not harmed the environment with any chemicals for growing or for pesticides.
4) Seminar 2: Certified green building techniques. How to build underground homes, how to build homes with hay bales, and how to build homes with hay bales and clay will be discussed.
1) Diversity celebration. A short message to extol the virtues of diversity and refute the myth of unity! Ward Churchill will deliver this inspirational message.
2) Seminar 3: Green political goals. Government control and regulation = GOOD. Individual freedom = BAD. The war on global warming must have government control and regulation. US sovereignty must be ceded to the United Nations to fight global warming.
3) Lunch: Vegetarian baloney with green persimmon juice.
4) Seminar 4: How to effectively use propaganda, manipulation, misinformation and brain washing to bring about political change. Presented by special guest Dan Rather with brief message from Bobby Kennedy, Jr.
1) Disassemble tents, secure compost toilets, hug your favorite trees and report to open air pavilion.
2) Checklist training on how to intimidate, coerce, and harass anyone who does not profess belief in the theory that global warming is very serious and caused by human activity.
3) Checklist training on how to discredit and bring about the firing of anyone who does not respond to #2 above.
4) Final briefing on how to build the “consensus” even more by using steps 2 and 3 in your local cities.
Remember that capitalism, and individual freedom is a deterrent to fighting the WAR ON GLOBAL WARMING!